Who we support 

What is domestic abuse?

 

Domestic abuse (referred to as domestic violence in physically threatening cases) is abuse that is preparated by a partner, family member, guardian or carer. Although people can experience other hostile and/or abusive behaviour from others in a domestic setting, such as neighbours, landlords and friends this is not defined as domestic abuse. This is due to it not taking place within an intimate, familial or caring-based relationship.

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Domestic abuse/violence can take different forms:

 

• Emotional abuse 

• Threats and intimidation 

• Physical abuse 

• Sexual Abuse 

• Conversion practices 

• Financial abuse
   

This might appear as a partner or family member: 

 

• Regularly belittling you and putting you down

• Limiting how much time you spend with friends and/or family

• Controlling your money

• Threatening to expose your sexuality or gender identity without your consent 

• Monitoring your phone, conversations or location 

• Accusing you of cheating 

• Controlling what you present (what you wear, your hairstyles or use of makeup)

• Destroying your personal items 

• Making verbal threats 

• Being physically violent 

• Threatening to expose your migration status 

• Forcing you to participate in drug-taking or other activity that makes you feel uncomfortable 

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How do LGBTIQ+ people experience domestic abuse and is this different from a cis/het experience?

 

Anyone can experience or perpetuate domestic abuse and it is something that affects all communities. However, domestic abuse is particularly prevalent within the LGBTIQ+ community and there are differences in the way it can play out. Some examples of this are:

 

• A bisexual, cis woman in a relationship with a straight man might experience domestic abuse from her partner, who is uncomfortable with and threatened by her bisexuality. This might cause him to limit access to her LGBTIQ+ friends, threaten her and monitor her phone.
   

• A young trans person who has begun their transition while living in their family home may experience domestic abuse in the form of conversion practices from family members. Their family might also deny them access to gender-affirming medical care, clothes, makeup, and other items that allow them to express their gender identity. 

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These nuances in experience are why it’s crucial for the LGBTIQ+ community to have access to domestic abuse services run by LGBTIQ+ people, who understand their identities, needs and relationship structures.